By Liesl Jurock
I’m sitting in my university’s Campus Security office with this middle-aged CSIS officer firing questions at me. The door of our tiny room is closed, the overhead light is hot, and I feel sweat starting to bead on my forehead.
You’re wondering, of course, what did I do?
Well, I agreed to be a reference for a student who had volunteered for me.
The man was from Canada’s version of spy central and was hiring said student. After twenty minutes of being battered with questions like, “Is she a loyal Canadian?” and “Tell me about her use of illegal substances.” It made me reconsider agreeing to be her reference. Since then, I’ve tried to demand some respect for the role.
Make it easy for references to promote you
Although you might be scrambling to find three former supervisors the night before an interview, consider who can really do the job of promoting you and what they need:
Provide a copy of your resume, cover letter and the job description
Remind them of experiences you had working with them that might be relevant to discuss
Highlight your relevant strengths and one weakness that would be okay to discuss
Give ample notice
Usually the people you’re asking to be your references run pretty busy lives. Respect their schedule because the last thing you want is someone who feels irritated by speaking on your behalf.
Contact them whenever you plan to give out their name so they have a head’s up.
Provide a few weeks if you need a reference letter.
Recognize the critical role they play in your career
If someone takes the time and energy to be your reference, they probably care about you and your career. Many people don’t realize you may need to call on a good reference for a long-time.
Check in regularly with updates and show interest in their lives as well.
Drop by or e-mail after interviews to let them know the outcome.
Chocolate, gift cards, or a simple thank you note go a long way to showing appreciation.
And if you’re wondering about that student I did the CSIS reference for? Well, I never heard from her. I found out from someone else that she got the job, but she never bothered to thank me. You can bet that our reference relationship has come to an end.
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Comments
I find your comments interesting Thomas, especially since this is a women's post. You just demonstrated the difference between Mars and Venus.
It may not be expected to acknowledge the reference's support, at the same time it was thoughtless not to show their appreciation.
You can never have too many friends in the business world; why NOT give the extra effort of a simple thank you. Just two little words that are so easy to say, yet can make a world of difference.
Your attitude should show gratitude.
Can definitely relate to your ideas, Liesl. When I check for references, I started to ask if the reference had been notified by the candidate first, and surprise surprise, at least half say no - important lesson for candidates to learn about courtesy and giving notice.
Why do you have to be so antogonistic minded? You cared enough to take on the responsibility that goes with the "reference" territory so perhaps just ask how the new job is going? Sure it would have been courteous and respectful of the volunteer candidate to have directed a thank you to you, but the nature of that relationship with you hardly warrants such a nasty tone from you either. Getting through an interview lies more on the verbal and non-verbal successes of the interviewee than just 1 reference (yours). Did you thank the volunteer for all her/his contribution to the degree it benefited you? Probably not! Sheesh, he/she is probably just thankful to be on his/her way probably -- not to mention, that some form of gratitude could very likely present itself when the overwhelming excitement of making you proud via an upcoming accomplishment settles in and stock is taken. Better yet, just thank yourself. Self-appreciation is like self-talk. It's at your standard and a very powerfully enriching. Instead of focusing on 2 words unspoken, reap the benefits of realizing what an ultimate life-changing difference you have made in someone's life. It's not as if you don't exist anymore with no worth. At a deeper level, it sounds like your self-esteem is undermining the very you that did such a kind act of not not supporting the strengths of another on your side (a like-minded individual career-wise). Anyway, it was interesting to read your post. Thanks for being you and please know I am saying that steeped in sincerity because I MEAN IT.
Nice piece. I can't tell you how many applicants I interview who have terrible references. It's as if it is an afterthought. Worse with the younger generation, that is for sure.
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