Here's the truth of the matter: The moment I made my way online was the moment I resigned to the glorious world of product samples. Truth be told, beyond the moral satisfaction of having a voice it is the semi-regular influx of product samples that, in its small part, sooth the ache of long hours, short deadlines and inconsistency of freelancer pay.
Next to wearing UGGs and sweatpants to the office, these are the perks of being a writer.
I have a small arsenal of products waiting to be written about and what better place to entertain this than in a new column; frank and honest discourse that highlights the good, the bad, and the ugly of the world of new products. Is this a series of posts that are product reviews? No. This is the retelling of the hilarious incidents of my life interacting with these items.
Trust me. There's some good stuff to be told here.
Are you ready to see what happens when a social media & food writer comes face to face with slimming creams, boxes of make up, eye creams, shoes, cat litter, anti-aging serums, and the occasional special events that surround them?
Being product rich and money poor makes a girl get into some sticky situations...
THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT ITALIAN TILE
Ironically, I was in the washroom the moment the phone rang; the cat litter had arrived.
I wrestled the giant box into my unit, exasperatingly blowing the frazzled bangs out of my eyes. Again, ironically, the box and its “Small Spaces” contents had me pinned to the wall like a convict on a ledge. It had the look of something you wouldn’t dare feed after midnight and after a panicked moment of thought, I did the only thing that seemed reasonable at the time: I dove for a pair of scissors and slashed the box until it was a shadow of its former self.
Completely unnecessary. Oddly satisfying.
There it stood, the Rolls-Royce of covered litter boxes, complete with carbon filter, five months worth of coupons for Purina Maxx Scoop litter, treats, scoop and caddy, and a litter mat. Ah, yeah! This will definitely coax that cat of mine from crapping on the floor!
Why she adopted “tile squatting” as her new hobby, I don’t know. I’m really hoping that this new litter setup convinces her to use the potty like a big girl, because her evil dump valve is, well, pretty darn evil.
The first week, she avoided the floor and avoided the box. Online forums explained that cats may get a little rambunctious or “nutso” when they can’t go to the washroom. Cattimus, however, successfully channeled Satan. She developed a six-foot-nine vertical jump, black-saucer eyes, and an eerie ability to run sideways. I was scared into submission so I uncapped the box. Success!
By week three, Cattimus had adapted nicely. Head bonks for high fives, this cat was down with the Maxx Scoop. She was happy and together we lived a fairy tale friendship of purrs, self-clumping litter, and best-buddy awesomeness. So why did I forget to change her litter? I don’t know! Things were busy then, I was selfish, it was a different time. I had a lot on my mind, articles to write, events to attend - I thought one day wouldn’t matter.
If I could go back, I would’ve done it differently. Because once a cat craps on fine Italian tile, she never goes back. Not for all the treats in Kitten-dom or the Rolls-Royce of litter boxes complete with cat mat, five-month supply of Maxx Scoop, carbon filter and scoop with caddy.
Le sigh.
Image courtesy stock.xchng.
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