Unboxing

I have home delivery of the Star every weekend, and sitting down to read through Saturday's edition is one of the more relaxing parts of my week. I like to be current about what's going on and I'm rewarded every week with an article or two that just beg for me to comment. I greedily tear out the articles in question, anticipating a wonderful time expounding my views. A newspaper un-ripped only works for fish and chips.

So this week, the Canadian release of the iPad is hot news; it even rates a small box at the bottom of the front page. But wait! The article isn't really about the iPad, it's about the process of opening this new toy. Unboxing. Apparently this is a highly regarded act and is often captured on video and posted on YouTube. Huh? Have I got this right? It's the taking of the toy out of the box that's garnering all this enthusiastic joy?

I do remember the excitement of unwrapping Christmas presents and I still go faint with anticipation when I have a present to open (often the smaller the better). But my rapture is aimed totally at what's inside the box. The present, you know?

According to Leslie Scrivener, Toronto Star feature writer, there are already more than 8,000 iPad unboxing videos on YouTube. I'm not sure what Leslie's lead time was for this article, but when I checked Saturday afternoon, that number had risen to over 14,000. These videos are multiplying faster than free-range bunnies.

I had to see what this bizarre phenomenon was all about, so I went to YouTube and started watching. Oh my. What a yawn. There's a discussion of the bag, the bag that you get from the Apple Store, then a complete examination of the outside of the box, the outside! Then the magic moment happens and he lifts the lid. It seemed to be a nirvana experience; one videographer was almost overcome, but did manage a hushed "Sweet." A detailed (more yawning) examination of every switch and receptacle on all sides of the iPad and a final hushed awe for the two Apple stickers found inside the box ends the video. No one turned their iPad on. No one. Huh? And what's the deal with those stickers?

At moments like this I feel like a dinosaur, completely out of touch with the important things in life, like the joys of unboxing. Sigh. Well sonny, Gramma's here to tell you: Get a grip. Give yourself a shake! It's time to move on past this weird, bizarre activity. Bad things will come from it, trust me.

I have a good idea. I know something really cool you can do ... turn it on and use it. Really. And see if there's an app for "get a life."