Get Two Beers and Jump

The appropriate eulogy, mantra, for this week's pop icon Steven Slater, the Jet Blue Airlines flight attendant who cussed out a rude passenger on the p.a. of an aircraft, grabbed two beers from the galley, opened the aircraft door, and slid down the inflated chute, kind of says it all for so many of us hard-working chumps, doesn't it? What a great exit...

Just in case you've been unhooked-up, or at the cottage, or living in a cave for the past week, here’s a quick review of the events that took place: The flight attendant involved had a scuffle with a passenger about removing a bag from the overhead bin before the plane arrived at the gate. As a result, he ended up getting bumped on the forehead by the carry-on bag. His p.a. tirade and imaginative exit followed, captured our urban legend hearts, and we've been following Steven all week.

I spent days trying to find the exact words of his tirade and I'm here now to save you the trouble. According to three different sources, he said, "To the f.....g a..hole who told me to f..k off, it's been a good 28 years. I've had it. That's it." Then he grabbed  two beers and jumped. Perfect.

This is the stuff dreams are made of. This is our work fantasy come true. This veteran employee has us all singing Johnny Paycheck's Take This Job and Shove It with extra passion in our voices this week. And a little smirk on our faces.

OK, there are a few people who aren't quite in line with Steven's innovative behaviour, suggesting that he should have been more professional. But let me tell you, those people are few and far between. On Facebook, there are nine groups about Steven and the main group has over 206,000 fans. On YouTube, there are over 648 videos, including a couple of tribute songs. Turn on the TV or open your local paper and you'll see every local expert expounding about why Steven is an indication of the stress in today's society, how we've lost our consideration for each other, the importance of civility, yada, yada, yada.

Yawn.

Let me tell you the truth of all of this. If you work sealed up in a tin cylinder - flashing around at over 500 miles an hour, crammed like sardines with all kinds of other humans, under constant pressure to deliver peanuts, having to do it all with a smile on your face - after a while, your work life becomes about 100 times more demanding and stressful than say, sitting alone at a desk (please don't be offended, office worker friends). And you probably already know that being a flight attendant puts you in one of the most verbally abused and demanding jobs in the world.

I know, because I was a flight attendant for 32 years, and oh my, did I have moments when I fantasized about saying exactly what Steven said - and then some! Personally, the one line I most wanted to say was, "Are you trying to piss me off?" Sadly, I never had the nerve. So trust me when I tell you that Steven Slater rocks.

But, please don't over-analyze the events. This is just one of those rare, serendipitous things that happen, if we're lucky, in our week to make us smile and say that I wish it'd been me who said what Steven said. It's the stuff of folk heroes. And I'd get to hear people say, "I wish I had her ovum." Me too.