Paranoid?

by Sara Mahmood

A couple of weeks ago, a lady sat down beside me on the bus and started talking to me. Everyone around us stared, giving me sympathizing looks that seemed to say oh I’m sorry you have to endure this, but thank goodness she’s not talking to me!

I didn’t mind; the lady wasn’t asking strange or invasive questions, she was just being friendly. But I have to admit that I was a bit apprehensive at first – why was she talking to me? After I realized it was just polite chit-chat, I was fine, but everyone else just kept staring and giving me pitying looks. Is it really that strange to talk to someone about the weather? Are we isolating ourselves because we assume the worst of everyone?

I live in a condo now and occasionally, someone knocks on my door by accident when they mean to visit one of the neighbours. Sadly, I don’t even know my neighbours well enough to help a lost person out. I know the family that lives to the left of me has a couple of daughters, but that’s about it. If you described any of the people who lived on my floor, I wouldn’t be of any help. I remember when I was a kid and lived in a house, I knew most of the people who lived on the street. We were really good friends with our next-door neighbour and she cried when we moved away. Now if I moved, I doubt anyone would even notice we were gone.

About a year ago, I was waiting for my bus at night. My bus will come around every 20 – 30 minutes in the late hours of the night and it’s not too crowded after 10 p.m. There was one other person waiting for the bus and as I approached the stop, he smiled at me. I smiled back and went on listening to my iPod. He then started to ask me what I was listening to and again, I was a bit cautious because I’m so used to not looking at anyone else when we go to work or school that when someone breaks the routine, we assume something bad is going to happen. He was nice and we had a long chat that continued on the bus about school, work and how annoying it is to wait for this bus. Then it was his stop and he got off and left. No trying to get my number or stalk me or anything, just a friendly conversation to pass the time while we waited to get home.

Now I’m not saying that every stranger is just a friend you haven’t met. There are people who are crazy and freak out if you sit beside them on the bus or accidently touch them. Afriend of mine recently told me a story about how she offered to help a woman pull her cart onto a bus. Instead the woman swore at her and started to ram the cart into my friend. She jokingly says she’s never going to be nice to anyone again. Yes, there are some strange people out there, but doing anything – including being nice to someone – has its risks. Don’t let one bad incident scare you from striking up a conversation with someone. If I choose to avoid other people, I’m just letting paranoia take control. I for one am being careful not to let my paranoia of stalkers and axe-murderers lurking on the TTC prevent me from being friendly.

Image courtesy of Microsoft Office.