Three Bizarre Stories

by Marcia Barhydt

Sometimes, there's just a short thought that makes me laugh; sometimes it's so absurd that it can generate about 500 words of incredulity from me. This time, I'm combining 3 short acts to make one article, 3 bizarre, make-you-smack-your-forehead stories.

1. A 21-year-old guy, on a bet, lubed himself up with detergent to prove that he could fit into a child size swing at a local park. Well, he did, and of course he got stuck, stuck for 9 whopping hours, long after his buddies had gone home to bed. The next morning the fire department was called to rescue him and had to use cast cutters. At least he was clean I bet from all that dried detergent.

2. A 17-year-old guy, after trying a daring day-time house robbery, chose to make his escape up the chimney, Santa style. Of course he got stuck, stuck for 10 hours; only Santa can pull off stuff like that, right? A neighbour heard him calling for help and called the police. When the cops were tugging him out the top of the chimney, they asked what he was doing in there. He at least had the grace to say "Ah, I'm just stupid." Refreshing hindsight I think, don't you?

3. And just so we all know that stupid stuff isn't relegated completely to young men, a rodeo bull (note please that it IS a male) got his head stuck in a tire for about 20 hours. Is this where the term bull-headed comes from? It took all day to free the bull; success only happened when El Toro was exhausted enough to allow a farm hand to pry off the offending tire with a large piece of wood. Prior to his exhaustion, the bull was described as "cranky". Right. And then some I bet.

Some of you might think that this article displays some discrimination, bias against men. Not so. I'm just the messenger reporting all the news that's fit to print. OK, we can all stop laughing and smacking our foreheads now.

©Marcia Barhydt, 2011