Enjoy the Ride

by Shannon Hunter

Things are going so well right now. Country Boy and I have been seeing each other once a week, which for us is a brand new experience and I couldn’t be happier about it. But, (there’s always a but isn’t there?) we don’t fight, not ever. And the nervous girl inside me can’t help but wonder why.  Is it a lack of passion or am I trying to create problems when there aren’t any?

I think I’m trying to create problems. I’m not used to good relationships; the kind where discussions happen more often than arguments and I feel safe and secure, without needing constant validation.

It’s hard though, when every television show, every movie, and every lovey dovey novel relies on conflict to make the story work. Will our love story work without the conflict? Do we need to have the make-up sex to have passion? All these thoughts have been running through my head lately, along with a simultaneous urge to smack myself in the head for being such a "girl."

Fighting doesn’t make for passion. Yes, a heated argument can end in a tangle of sweaty bed sheets but if your only outlet for passion is anger, then what does that really say about your relationship? 

We have a different kind of passion. When we’re coming up from the parking garage beneath my building we sneak kisses in the elevator between floors, like teenagers afraid to be caught by their parents. We make sultry bets that always end in a general win for both parties. We’ve been caught making out on the couch at least once by my roommate. We have heat, without arguing.

But, knowing all that, I’ve still be wracking my brain to understand where this fear comes from – why exactly am I so worried that we don’t fight enough? Because at the heart of it all, Country Boy is my dream guy and I can’t believe he picked me. 

Country Boy is the kind of guy who was the popular one in high school; he was the guy that every girl wanted to be with. He’s got abs that would make the Old Spice Guy jealous and a smile that could melt ice. He is pure country charm from top to bottom.  And me? I took a little longer to come into my own. The girl I am now is someone I’m incredibly proud to be, but 17-year old me is still waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for him to walk away. Even though I know he’s not going anywhere. 

So, how do I deal with this? How do I learn to enjoy a good relationship without driving myself crazy wondering why it’s going so well? Simple – suck it up, Shans.  Seriously.  That is my advice to myself and to any of you who have been through a similar situation.

I have every right to be happy and questioning that happiness is ridiculous and self-destructive. 

I’m happy, I’m falling in love and I am not going to ask why or how. I’m just going to sit back and enjoy this wicked ride. 

Image courtesy of Microsoft Office.