The Opposites

For some reason, this weekend everyone’s favourite topic of discussion was dating your opposite. Should be a short conversation, since we all know opposites attract, right? Wrong. This cliché must die a terrible death. Right now.

Dating your opposite can be fun – it can even end in a white dress and a big party – but let’s be honest, it almost never works out that way.  And here is why: We never seem to see the difference between dating our opposite and settling for the “less than.”

I recently tried dating a younger guy, the “manfriend” we talked about a couple weeks ago, and I thought I was completely infatuated with him. But I think that was my libido talking and not my brain. Because when it came down to it, though his lips were probably the most perfect lips I’ve ever kissed, and he was incredibly intelligent, he lacked the drive that is so key to who I am. He is going to go to school...eventually. He is going to get a job that doesn’t require a uniform...eventually. He is going to grow up...eventually. But the thing is we shouldn’t have to wait for eventually; we should be with a man who can move with us and not trail behind us.

We are driven young women, with lofty goals and incredible aspirations. But how can we ever bond with a man who is comfortable with life as it is. How can we be OK with the guy who calls us because he was drunk and disorderly and needs a ride home from the police station? Or the man who thinks that education can wait? What about the guy over 25 and living with his parents? Ladies, we need to stop settling.

He’s not an artist. He’s not a musician. He’s not an actor. He’s not romantic. He’s just a poor, unmotivated soul and it isn’t your job to lead him down the right path.

Apply the same level of standards to men as we do to our work – accept nothing less than what you deserve. Demand a man who wants the same from this life as you do. Because you are far too fantastic to associate yourself with a man who thinks that travelling is driving mom’s van to the paintball field in Ottawa.