By Adam Mazerall
The “true” awards season (read: the shows that matter and are broadcast on national networks and not independent cable stations catering to niche markets) commenced but two weeks ago with the lackluster nominations and statues given by the Golden Globes. Aside from the tacky set, dresses slit up and down the front revealing far too much skin and not enough style, the winners were a bevy of great selections and poor choices by the HFPA.
But on Tuesday, January 25th, awards pundits were elated by the announcement of the Oscars’ list of nominees. While there are still grave oversights – my assumption is no one actually watched Barney’s Version and The Social Network is only doing as well as it is because Zuckerberg added all members of the Academy as “friends” – overall the selections were on par with the year’s best in cinema.
While I won’t bore readers with my predictions (over the years I have lost more pride than money in Oscar pools), I have decided to share some tips for hosting a great awards party. After all, aren’t the Oscars just another excuse for drunken gatherings with friends and family, nestled delicately between New Year’s and Easter?
The Drinks
Wine and beer are always great staples and please most members of a small crowd. But we’re celebrating the Oscars. This means your creativity needs to be tapped and your cocktail quotients met with specialty concoctions and aptly named offerings. Try a Michelle Williams, Best Actress nominee for Blue Valentine – 1.5 oz. Blue Curacao, 1.5 oz. Vodka, 3 oz. Lemonade, and splash of Soda Water over ice with a lemon rind to garnish – or a Colin Firth – 1 oz. Tequila, 1 oz. Triple Sec, 1 oz. Whiskey, and freshly-squeezed Lime Juice – that will make King George VI look like a cunning linguist when compared to your ramblings.
The Food
While bowls of nuts and chips with dip may be acceptable for…well nothing really, the Oscars call for something much more elegant and sophisticated. Make your guests Black Swans – form phyllo pastry into baskets stuffed with goat cheese and Kalamata olives and mold the tops with whimsy, bake for 15-18 minutes at 375 Fahrenheit – or give them a kick with Fighter Crostinis – grab a baguette with a crispy crust and cut slices diagonally then smother with La Bomba antipasto and top with spicy feta, broil for 3-5 minutes. Cheap and chic is always a winner on awards night.
The Entertainment
The Oscars pre-show has in essence become a half-hour Shopping Channel supplement, so mute the TV and play Awards Speech Improv. Have your guests write down fake movie titles, fake characters with bizarre names, and fake awards, then place into three separate hats (or bowls, vases, etc.) Have everyone pull numbers to determine Awards Speech order, and one by one pull suggestions from each of the three categories. Then, give your acceptance speech: “I’d like to thank the Academy for honouring me with Best Hairy Streaker for my role of Ben Dover in Porky’s 18: Revenge of the Oink…”
Awards season parties needn’t be a bore. Nor do they have to have the pizzazz or production value of a Broadway show. They should be intimate gatherings celebrating not the stars but the good times you’re sharing with your closest friends.
Get creative.
Get together.
And, of course, get wasted.
The Oscars will be broadcast on ABC/CTV at 8pm (5pm central). The pre-show starts at 630pm (330pm central).
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