By Marcia Barhydt
If you have kids in their late teens or early 20s, be afraid. And if your teens or twenty-somethings watch Jersey Shore, lock them in a closet until they're 37, no, 53.
Jersey Shore is a reality series on MTV that follows 8 young men and women, all in their 20s, as they party on at a New Jersey resort town, not far from their homes in New York City. Think about the most outrageous thing you ever did during a summer beach vacation. Now multiply that by a gazillion and you'll have a glimpse into their lives.
If you take all the reality shows and wrap them together, you've created Jersey Shore. The guys, amazingly buff with abs that would hurt if you brushed your face against them. And the girls, um, mega-perky. Turns out that in their circles, a common high school grad gift is a boob job. And they're all soap-opera quality messed up. Like a combo of Desperate Housewives and Maury. Ew.
Jersey Shore premiered on December 3, 2009, with back-to-back episodes, averaging 1.375 million viewers. The season 1 finale audience attracted 4.8 million. Season 3's premiere episode on January 6, 2011was viewed by a record 8.45 million viewers, making it MTV's most viewed series telecast ever. [K1]
Almost all of the kids in this series are Italian-American and that's created some big time problems for MTV. The kids are not scripted, but speak in their own lingo, just like any other group. But because of their heritage, they refer to each other as "Guido/Guidette", which is seriously offensive to some other Italian-Americans. One MTV advertisement stated, "[the show] exposes one of the tri-state area's most misunderstood species... the GUIDO. Yes, they really do exist! Our Guidos and Guidettes will move into the ultimate beach house rental and indulge in everything the Seaside Heights, New Jersey scene has to offer." [K2]
Prior to the series debut, UNICO National formally requested that MTV cancel the show. In a letter to the network, UNICO called the show a "...direct, deliberate and disgraceful attack on Italian Americans..." UNICO National President Andre DiMino said in a statement "MTV has festooned the 'bordello-like' house set with Italian flags and red, white and green maps of New Jersey while every other cutaway shot is of Italian signs and symbols. They are blatantly as well as subliminally bashing Italian-Americans with every technique possible..." [K3] UNICO clearly doesn't want my tomato sauce tainted with the predominant free-for-all sex that's a big part of each episode.
All of this controversy has a point but I'm more interested in talking about the content of the weekly show. Some random story lines from random episodes...
Romance heats up between Sammi and Mike, but all might be lost when the guys invite three random girls to join them in the hot tub.
After a night at the clubs, and "beating the beat", Pauly and Mike have to juggle multiple groups of girls.
Fun turns to fury when Mike manages to antagonize both Snooki and J-WOWW. Snooki reveals that she used to be bulimic.
Things go south for Angelina when the house learns she slept with Jose after smushing Vinny. Then she gets too close to a guy Snooki hooked up with.
Ronnie and J-Woww make amends, which sends Sammi over the edge. Meanwhile, Mike uncovers Deena's dirty little secret.
Add 20 more years and you've got Desperate Housewives. So for anyone concerned about the lifestyle on this shore, on this show - get over yourself! This is a TV show and it's controversial, but that attracts viewers and that sells advertising. It all wraps up into tidy profit for everyone. Except UNICO, of course.
Take a moment to remember when you were a young, twenty-something. Remember how urgent and catastrophic every minute of your current romance and your current life was? Remember how you searched for hidden meaning in every word? Remember talking to all your girl friends about THE guy of the moment? Remember how you spent hours trying to look your sexiest, most alluring self? Well, bulletin, that's what's happening here. OK, the girls on Jersey Shore do look a bit skankier than I did, but never mind that - just focus on remembering this stage in your own life.
My solution? Sit back and laugh as these kids struggle through a tough phase in their lives. Realize that every aspect of the lives of this age group is way more open than you ever dreamed of when you were 22. And realize that fact especially about sex. Realize that if you've raised your kids fairly well, have set a fairly decent example, they'll experiment (just like we did), but when the dust settles, they'll be regular adults with two kids and a mortgage. Realize that this is all about a stage of life. It's all about the angst of young men and women finding their way, trying on different personae to discover what works best for them. The whole thing is a learning experience. End of sentence.
In the meantime, I'm going to approach the producers to see if they'll hire me as an Ann Landers type of counsellor. How fun would that be? How much do you think they'd pay me?
[K1]Facts checked on MTV.com, USAtoday, tvbythenumbers, Wikipedia.org
[K2]Mtv.ca, tvsquad.com
[K3]Worldnews.com
Image courtesy The Faster Times
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