When social media outs questionable conduct

Priya Ramsingh

Since the rise of Facebook and Twitter, it appears that social media has created a whole new avenue for passive aggressive behaviour. And it’s all done in public view.

How many times have you scratched your head in confusion, wondering why you have been quietly deleted you from someone’s Twitter or Facebook friend list? No argument, no falling out. Just de-friended and in some extreme cases, blocked.

It’s a virtual slap in the face, pun intended.

I’ve heard through some sources that one theory for removing someone from your friend list is non-participation in your online activities. For example, if someone ceases to comment on your postings, status updates or photographs, clearly they are not interested in your life and are not worthy of your cyber friendship. Delete.

Huh? Is it just me or is that a tad insecure? I mean, I have close to 300 friends on my list and I cannot imagine they are all that interested in my photographs of my pets in cute poses, or gripings about bad hair days. And I don’t fault them for it.

In fact, I believe that some people just want to observe and that’s ok with me. Perhaps many don’t want to comment because let’s face it, comments are stressful. As a public relations professional, I know all too well what one off-handed comment can do to one’s reputation.

Now there are times when deleting a friend is warranted like in the case of not being friends in real life anymore. But if they’ve done nothing except fail to take an online interest in your life, then to me, there’s no need to delete them from the safety behind one’s computer screen in a dark room, alone.

I would guess that high school kids do this all the time. In that case, it seems ok because they’re still climbing towards that maturity level to reach a place where they can be comfortable with confrontation. So until then, it’s easy to de-friend someone they no longer like, and that’s a hint for both parties to stop saying hello to each other in the hallways.

But I suppose with the handbook for social media etiquette not been written yet, everyone is at liberty to exhibit their passive aggressive behaviour at will. At the very least, it helps me to recognize who no longer wants to be my friend. So when I see them in public, I will know not to walk over and expect a big hug.

The question begs however, do I nod in acknowledgement should our physical paths cross or do I simply choose to ignore their presence? I’m still not sure if the virtual world is intended to be separate from the real world. I suppose I’ll just have to wait and see what transpires if I come across someone who’s de-friended me. It will be interesting.