This column was originally printed in fall 2012.
So, I’ve been seeing the new man for about a month now and I’m still full of butterflies and nervous energy every time I think of him, which is a lot.
On our second date over drinks and dinner he threw me for a loop when he asked me to go on vacation with him this summer. Moving fast, much? But instead of getting freaked out and running away like the commitment-phobe I tend to be when I’m only mostly into someone new; I got excited and started planning the whole trip out in my head.
I’m excited about the idea of vacationing with a manfriend; I’ve never been on the kind of couple trip that has the power to make all of your friends hate you and your incessant Facebook photo uploads. The “Oh, how cute” photo comments drip with jealousy and sarcasm, what we wish we could write is, “Do you ever work? Why are you always sunning yourself in a tropical paradise with your boyfriend? Did you rob a bank?” But that would be inappropriate. It’s my turn to inspire a little jealousy.
Before we can run away to a tropical paradise to make love on a beach and drink umbrella-covered cocktails, I have a question I need to ask him and, in all honesty, I’m more than a little terrified to ask it.
Next month I’m the maid of honour in a friend’s wedding and I’m supposed to bring a date. Initially I was planning to bring a friend, but now that I’m staring at May 25th on my calendar the new manfriend is the only one I want to bring with me. But, in order for him to join me, I’ll need to ask him first. Wedding dates are notoriously pressure-filled and I don’t want him to feel like I’m trying to move things too quickly.
Considering that he asked me to fly away with him to another country on our second date, I feel as though it isn’t at all inappropriate to ask him to join me as my date to a wedding. But, that doesn’t stop me from worrying that a serious invite will scare him off and cast me in the role of “crazy girl” before we even have a chance to figure each other out.
I’m happier with the new man than I have been with anyone else I’ve been with in the past year. He doesn’t play games like Waiting Man and he doesn’t disappear for days on end like Country Boy – he’s a man and he says exactly what he means and does exactly what he says he will. It’s this happiness that scares me most; I’m afraid that the wrong move will ruin something wonderful.
I’m not going to let the fear hold me back from doing something exciting. If he can jump in feet first on our second date, I can do it on our fifth. If he says no, at least I know that I didn’t let the fear hold me back. Knowing is definitely better than not knowing.