Patrick and Richie
It’s the morning after and Patrick is the first to wake. He leaves the naked Richie in bed and makes his way to the shower (but not before we see his cute little booty pull on some underwear — I screen grabbed that one!). He brushes his teeth using his finger, and does the obligatory check of the medicine cabinet to find out which meds — if any — his new partner is on. Finger brushing is always the worst; it’s so hard to reach those molars and you just look bulimic if somebody walks in at the wrong time. This is why I only suggest doing so when you have to go straight to work or you’re planning round two in the bedroom. Right before he can make his sweet escape, Patrick hears music coming from the bedroom, a naked Richie is playing bass guitar in bed and singing.
How can Patrick head to work and leave this stud serenading him? We find out that Richie has stayed at Patrick’s at least three times now and this has made him late for work in the past. They kiss each other goodbye and Patrick says good morning to Richie’s erect, “incredible penis.” He leaves, like an idiot, but suddenly regrets his actions and makes his way back to Richie’s bed for a more orgasmic send-off. This is when things really heat up. Like, really. I may have re-watched this scene about twelve times. Richie gives Patrick a blow job then pushes his legs up to go even a little further downtown. The look on Patrick’s face says it all, it’s the look some tops get when they receive an unexpected rim job. Richie tells him not to worry, “You just took a shower.” Which is a lot better than stumbling home with a random from the club and thinking it’s a good idea to visit his back door. Richie really wants to top Patrick, but Patrick normally doesn’t bottom. The moment is interrupted when Patrick finishes, directly into Richie’s mouth, something Patrick says later “isn’t completely safe.”
They have some breakfast at a diner, where Richie pokes fun at the taste of Patrick, “did you have pineapple yesterday?” and Patrick laments his love for The Goonies. “Heeeeyyyy you guysssss!” Richie tells Patrick that he used to have braces and was embarrassed by them as a child. We also find out that Richie’s ex was HIV positive but “Don’t worry, I’m not.” A jolt of paranoia passes Patrick’s face, he really does get worried about everything. Watching these two flirt and joke is adorable — the passion and intrigue that happens when two people really start to connect and learn about one another is always a beautiful thing. Patrick is having such a good time that he decides to call in sick to work so the two can continue exploring.
They go through all of the typical questions two gay guys ask each other when they’ve passed the pleasantries and can delve a little deeper. What was your first gay experience? When did you come out to your parents? How’d they take it? Patrick was fifteen and in the back of a bus on his way home from computer camp with a fellow nerd; they had a blanket over their laps and Patrick helped his buddy out. Richie was fourteen and gave blow jobs to the Mormon guy that came over about once a week. They walk to the mysterious destination that Richie has picked out, Patrick can’t seem to stop talking, “I’m not good with silences, just so you know.” Oh, we know Patrick, we know. Thankfully Richie always seems to call him on his shit, which is probably the main reason I’m team Richie all the way.
They eventually make it to a planetarium and just as I started thinking, Wow, this is a Friends rip-off, Richie beats me to it. “This is sort of like where Ross took Rachel on their date.” Yes! Exactly! They come to the conclusion that Patrick is the Rachel since she’s typically the one in charge and therefore would be the top. Richie provides a wonderful moment where he says that he doesn’t identify with the labels top or bottom (“those are for people on websites”) and is adaptable to experiences. Patrick claims he doesn’t like to bottom, “As soon as it’s in I’m like, take it out, take it out, take it out!” Nothing kills the mood like when a guy says take it out — trust me. They come to the conclusion that Patrick has bottom shame and that’s why he isn’t normally into it and Richie admits that usually, he would be the Rachel. I hope these two don’t end up going on a break where one of them sleeps with the hot copygirl.
They grab some street meat after the planetarium and discuss their coming-out stories. Richie’s father didn’t take it so well and he avoids discussing it further. Patrick told his mom in a car on the way to the airport and she made it all about her.
On a side note, I remember when I first decided to come out to my mother, I geared up, watched some scenes from the film Milk to really build my confidence, then when we were out for brunch and my mother asked me if there were any girls I was interested in I said it, “I don’t really like girls.” My heart stopped, waiting for her reply. “Excuse me, can we get some more milk?” she asked the waitress. I thought she hadn’t heard me, and I didn’t bring it up again until I was drunk after my brothers wedding and let it all out a la C.R.A.Z.Y. Turns out, she had heard me in the diner but was going through a lot at the time (my grandfather was on his deathbed) and didn’t really allow herself to acknowledge my reveal. I was angry for a while when I found that out, but her support and love has more than made up for it and she currently adores my boyfriend. My father was living in Vancouver at the time, and we weren’t really on speaking terms. He happened to tune into MTV one night and saw me on one episode of 1 Girl 5 Gays. He called up my sister to ask if I had been on a TV show, she said yes. He replied with “Tell him I love him.” We’ve reconnected since and the topic has come up a couple of times, we laugh about it now, but thanks MTV for doing my dirty work!
So back to Patrick and Richie! They walk past beaches, talk about marriage — they both eventually want to get hitched. “Now we have to deal with that pressure,” says Patrick since gays can now legally marry. Sure it’s a pressure that’s put on you to be considered normal and get married, but be grateful you now have that option. Patrick reminds me of myself, he worries about everything, which is why Richie is such a great Yin to his Yang. Richie is more faith based, he tells Patrick about his Seniora, an older woman who rubs eggs over his body then answers questions about his life based on reading his cards. Patrick pokes fun at it a bit, and Richie gets a little defensive, “Some people have drugs, addictions; I have her.” Richie brings Patrick to see her but he backs out once he realizes Richie would have to translate and hear all of Patrick’s bad fortunes before Patrick would. Who would want your new partner to find out your darkest secrets? Another reason why you should keep your bathroom cabinet locked.
The two end up exactly where they started, back in bed. Patrick let’s Richie know that he does eventually want to bottom for Richie, not today since he’s “opened up enough already,” but it will happen. Richie throws Patrick a condom and they are back in the throws of new love.
I really did love this episode. I have been on this date. I have had these discussions. It really was the most accurate portrayal of two men falling for each other I’ve seen since Andrew Haigh’s film Weekend. They touch on a lot of topics, more than I was able to discuss here, but the format was a great way for the two to learn about one another and for us the audience to get more of a back story about them. The only thing I missed were our other characters, but I’m sure we have a lot more of Agustin and Dom to look forward to.
Follow Brett on Twitter at @AshleyBrett.