Last night I was at a party with a friend when a cute guy started talking to me, a really cute guy, and before I knew it he was flirting with me — rather drunkenly, but he was definitely flirting. At most parties and events I’m either with Boyfriend or everyone there knows about him so there’s never any flirting; I’d almost forgotten how great it can feel to have a total stranger find you attractive.
Nothing happened; I laughed, I flirted back a little but I was never concerned about what he thought because I found my person more than a year ago. Flirting when you want to go home with someone or get their number is so much more WORK than when you know you don’t want either of those things. Before I met Boyfriend I used to go out to bars and flirt through hockey games, Irish jigs, and more than a few ill advised shots of tequila. It was always work; I had practiced lines, I had looks and moves and I knew exactly how much cleavage to show.
Last night I showed up in the same dress and tights I’d worn to work, I was more concerned about having a good time with my friend than I was with meeting a new dude and I guess it showed. Maybe there’s a reason that people say as soon as you wear an engagement ring or a wedding band people start hitting on you; maybe it has nothing to do with the ring and everything to do with the fact that you just don’t care anymore. The less you care about hooking up, the easier it is.
Standing in front of this man there was no doubt in my mind that I was going to be faithful to Boyfriend, I love him and I’m not interested in cheating. But I liked the attention I liked knowing that someone else found me pretty. It may sound terribly vain but sometimes I just want someone to look at me and think, “Damn.” Sometimes I don’t care if they think I’m entertaining or funny or wild or weird I just want them to appreciate that I put effort into my appearance. Boyfriend loves me and of course he finds me attractive but he knows me and that taints the opinion; when it comes to appearance the opinion of a stranger will always be more honest than someone who cares about whether or not they are hurting your feelings.
I’m a happy lady and I can’t see a future that doesn’t have Boyfriend in it (or maybe I just don’t want to) and I don’t care about what’s-his-name from last night’s party, I will probably never see him again, but it’s really nice to know that I can still turn a head or two when I want to.