I’ve been trying to keep busy while Country Boy and I have been taking our little break, which actually isn’t hard. It’s only been a week and I’m already losing it. It’s not hard for me to trust him; it’s not hard for me to believe that we’ll be back together in a few short weeks, but it is really hard to be without him.
I’m lonely and I want a little company and while there is no lack of men in the city, I just don’t want any of them. I want my Country Boy, with the deep brown eyes and curious smile, and no one else will do. So, what am I going to do if things don’t work out? What if the distance and work and life gang up on us and win? Well, in all honesty I hope that doesn’t happen, but if it does, I’ll do what I’ve always done: I’ll move on. But this time I’ll be able to do so with a better sense of what I want in a relationship and in a man.
I love Country Boy; everything about him makes sense to me and everything about him excites me. I need a man who listens to country, drives a truck, has a big family and values to go with it. I need a gentleman with small-town southern flare.
I am not the girl who can date a Bay-Street guy. I am not the girl who can date a lifelong city boy; it’s not me and it never was, but it has taken Country Boy to make me realize what really makes me happy.
When I was younger, my mother told me to stop bringing home the tall, skinny, artsy boys because they were all wrong for me. Ten years later and I realize she was right. She’s always known me better than I know myself, but I’m stubborn and I had to figure it out on my own. If only I had figured all this out when I was 15, life would have been so much easier.
I’m not giving up on Country Boy by any stretch, but there is a comfort in realizing that, for once, I know exactly what I want. I want the wedding (some day), I want the house in the country, I want the life in the city, and I won’t settle for anything less.
It may take a while to get everything I want but the best things in life are worth waiting for and the kind of boy who will take a drive to nowhere so we can fool around in the back of the truck while Eric Church blasts through the radio – definitely worth waiting for; but then again maybe I’ve already got that.
This article was previously published on March 1, 2012.