I want to be like Marisa Tomei’s character in the movie Alfie.
When she finds women’s panties in her garbage – not hers mind you – she locks her boyfriend out of her home and out of her life. He shows up a couple of times and she simply says, “We want different things” citing that it wasn’t a good idea to have him in and out of her son’s life. No drama, no tears. He asks if she’s mad and she says, “No, I’m really not.”
But the best part? As she walks away, she turns her head and looks back and asks if he will be ok. It was triumphant. She wasn’t the loser.
I tell myself that I won’t cry the next time a relationship ends or a guy does something stupid that hurts my feelings. I tell myself to look at the practical side, like Tomei’s character, and realize that it’s not about good or bad, just wanting different things and knowing who you are and more importantly – what you are worth.
No more will I let emotions take over. You know the ones. They flow from the heart straight into our heads, flooding it with pain and, causing an explosion of emotional outburst.
Then of course there’s the feeling that we over reacted. But from now on, I will remember Tomei’s face and casually just ask, “Will you be ok?”
In the movie, Alfie never forgets her. He sees her again in a cafe months after he’s had his own heart broken and realized he’s alone. She smiles at him warmly. For a second, it’s as if she’s forgiven him and there is hope. But then her boyfriend walks in and kisses her. He’s introduced to Alfie who’s jerked into realization and leaves.
Yes, I want to be that woman. If there’s a next time.