After two extra weeks of planning Mr. Unexpected and I are finally getting away from the city, which at this point we both desperately need. Desperately.

Tomorrow night after work we’re heading up to Viamede Resort for a little bit of a vacation from life— or in my case, from my phone. We need this; the past month has been a bit much for both of us.

I’ve never had a real relationship, but I didn’t know that until now; I used to brag that the Big Ex and I never fought, not ever. Until we did fight, big time, and that was the night that he broke my heart. But no fighting, no real discussions, all sunshine and rainbows all the damn time isn’t worth bragging about because it just means that you aren’t connected enough to talk about the real things. It took me a while to realize that and even longer to come to terms with the fact that I’d wasted over a year of my life with a man who never even bothered to introduce me to his family.

Mr. Unexpected and I talk about everything, from his desire to adopt a pug and name it Francis to my terrible relationship with my biological father to my desire to sit on a beach and write all day. But the past couple of weeks have been tough on him, and while we still talk I know he’s hurting and he’d rather not talk about it until he has a solution in hand. He’s incredibly talented and he’s worked his way up from the bottom so the idea that something he’s working on might not succeed breaks his heart and it breaks mine to watch it happen.

So we need a trip, we need the massages, the hiking and the in-room whirlpool tub; we need to be happy without thinking about all the work that waits for us when we get back home on Sunday night.

While I don’t have a solution to boyfriend’s problems, other than let’s run away for the weekend, I’m glad that I know about them, I’m glad that he’s including me on the not-so-shiny elements of his life and I’m glad that he trusts me enough to share with me.

I never knew what I was missing out on, I always thought that the Big Ex and I had a perfect relationship worthy of jealousy; I didn’t know that the reason things were so wonderful was because he never trusted me enough to share the bad parts of his life with me.

So for better or for worse I’ll be there for Mr. Unexpected, because for the first time in 25 years I have someone for whom I want to be there who is also willing to let me be there. Things might not always be perfect but perfect is boring anyway. Give me the mess, the fights, the smiles and the tears. I’ll take it all.

 

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