If your man says he doesn’t watch it, he’s probably lying. With a dreaded rep for making wives wince and girlfriends erupt with jealousy, porn is the seductive mistress luring our men into a world of unrealistic eroticism and fantasy.

Recent studies indicate that men in relationships watch porn about 1.7 times a week for around 20 minutes, according to Professor Simon Louis Lajeunesse from the University of Montreal. These stats are not surprising with the growing availability of high definition porn today.  At all times, men can easily access porn on their tablets, smartphones, and laptops for quick and easy arousal wherever they go.

Yet, to what extent are women affected by this multi-billion dollar industry? Is there some level of pressure to fulfill these pornographic fantasies in order to keep men satisfied? It seems nearly impossible to maintain a comfortable balance between fulfilling these fantasies while also feeling secure and respected. And while it’s important to entice your man, you shouldn’t abandon your personal style of sexual expression.

Of course, men are not only to blame. The palette for porn is shared by both men and women alike.  A couple that embraces porn may be adding a playful element to their sexual routine. So, in many ways, porn can offer a healthy source of inspiration before or during sex. However, a chronic dependence on porn can estrange sexual partners. Couples should also ensure that they can nurture their sexual bond without the aid of a third party. This means being able to separate the hyper-sexualized world of porn from real life interactions.

Yet when it comes to separating fantasy from reality men usually have a trickier time accepting the pornographic world as mere make-believe. In more severe cases, men can become reliant on these steamy exploits as the ideal stimulant.  In an interview exploring this issue, Daniel, 43, shared his thoughts by stating, ” I am happily married but I can’t fully enjoy myself with my wife unless I think about pornographic images in my head.” When addicted to hyper-erotic acts or thoughts, it’s easy to lose interest in real-life sex.

Consequently porn can alienate a woman in her relationship. A woman may become a mere accessory to her man’s mental fantasy instead of being the main attraction.

A recent film, “Don Jon”, explores the allure of porn and its effects. The plot focuses on Jon, a womazing gerbronie, who struggles with his obsession with porn and masturbation causing deteriorated connections with women. Moreover,  as porn feeds his erotic fancies, it weakens his interest in real-life sex. As a result, he is unable to appreciate reciprocal and meaningful sexual experiences. Through this movie, we may recognize how the porn industry can spoil relationships.

Despite these dangers, it’s understandable why so many men become lost in the rapture of porn. The sex is vividly over-glorified: the women are always idealized, the sharp lighting enhances every detail,  and the pleasure is exaggerated to a show-stopping, shrieking spectacle. This often causes real life sex to pale in comparison. Also, men are highly visual, and porn provides the ideal pressure-free gateway to high-intensity visual arousal.

Yet, porn worshippers need to accept reality. The truth is that most women do not wear leather stiletto boots in bed, nor do they yearn to have their hair yanked from their skulls or faces slapped. And finally, most women do not relish being showered in sticky love juices. These are male-dominated fantasies, not reality!

Perhaps porn fanatics should consider changing the type of porn they watch in order to gain more realistic perceptions of sex.

 

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