We started dating in 2012 this is our second year together and while that isn’t a monumental moment for most people, for me, it is. So I want to start the year off with resolutions, not for me, but for us.
This year will be the year we talk seriously about living together, instead of just fantasizing about moving to L.A. where it is sunny, sandy, and warm and people never wear parkas just to make it to work without getting frostbite. We’ll talk about the realities of living together and what that would mean for us instead of dreaming about a big house that we’ll buy with his TV monies and my book monies. We’ll discuss if it should happen this year or if we should wait until 2015; because 2015 is a nice round number and 3 years is more than enough time to know if we’re in it for the long haul.
This year will be the year that I stop being afraid to say exactly what I’m thinking. I will stop saying, “I’m fine.” Because I know he’ll just make me tell him what I’m thinking anyway. I will stop worrying that if I say what is on my mind he’ll leave me; he’s proven more than once that this isn’t the case and I owe him the honesty he wants. I am saying goodbye to the, “never minds”, the “I’m fines”, the “no big deals” and the “it doesn’t matters”. My feelings matter and Boyfriend wants to hear them, which is awesome.
This is the year where I surprise him. Boyfriend is the BEST at presents, if there was an award for best gift giving abilities he would win it annually; this year I want to surprise him, I want to knock his socks off, I want him to know how much I care. Also I want to win. I’m a fairly competitive person and I have yet to beat him in the gifting category so this year I’m going to do it.
At first I thought the idea of relationship resolutions was a silly one but after writing them down and thinking about them, I still think they’re silly. But silly or not relationships require work, thought and effort and if you don’t have any goals in mind how can you ever get to the place you want to be? I’ve never met anyone like Boyfriend, he’s my person and he deserves the best possible version of myself, even if that means I have to write ridiculously silly lists about relationship resolutions.
If I had thought more about my relationship with the Big Ex I might have ended it long before the lying and the cheating started, I might have thought about the fact that I wasn’t happy and I might have saved myself months of confusion and tears. Relationships don’t just magically work, although that would be nice, you get out what you put in and Boyfriend is worth putting the work in.