I’m not sure that I believe in love at first sight, I believe in interest at first sight, I knew the minute that I met Boyfriend that I was interested; but I didn’t love him when we met standing in line for a movie on a cold September night. I loved him when he showed up at my house with a smile cookie for no reason, I loved him when he held my hand through my mum’s illness and I loved him when he gave me a zombie version of himself for our anniversary. As romantic as the idea of love at first sight is love doesn’t happen in a second it happens over time.

Now after over a year together and still going strong I find myself thinking about the future — because it’s not my future any more, it’s our future, and I’m ready to take the next step.  After a year or so of dating at 26 the next step feels to me like it should be moving in together but Boyfriend thinks of moving in together as a huge step, to him it’s practice for a life together and not a decision to be made lightly. So now I’m wondering when it will happen.

Will we be ready to move in together this summer? Will we be ready in another year? Will it be two more years?

I don’t want to fall into the big city trap of moving in too soon because it’s cheaper than paying rent on your own I’ve seen couples move in far too soon and fall apart because of it; if you’re not ready to live with your partner moving in too early can spell relationship doom but what if one of you feels ready and the other doesn’t?

It’s not that Boyfriend doesn’t ever see us moving in together, we talk about what it will be like when we live together, we talk about where we’d want to live and the dogs he wants to get someday. But it’s all talk for now and the planner who lives in my head wants times, dates and locations; I know it will happen one day but I hate the idea of leaving my life up to maybes.

Sometimes I feel like we’re moving too slowly for my taste. Maybe it’s because I see friends who’ve been together for less time or maybe it’s because I see girls younger than me are getting engaged and starting their lives. Boyfriend says that if we’re going to end up together there’s no need to rush and while a part of me believes that another part thinks that if we’re going to be together there’s no reason to wait.

I’m probably over-thinking things; I’m letting my friends set the pace for my own life which is beyond a little ridiculous. Boyfriend is right: if we’re going to be together there isn’t a reason to rush anything. Instead of always freaking out that I’m not moving in the right direction I should probably settle down and just enjoy the life I have now.

 

Follow Shannon on Twitter at @Shananigans.

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