I set a friend up last week. For real, I did that. As a girl in a real life, almost grown-up and totally kind of serious relationship I feel as though it is my duty to introduce my single friends to each other because I don’t want to be alone and in a relationship. I want my friends to meet awesome people so we can talk about how crazy and ridiculous our Boyfriends are over martinis.
I don’t know when someone decided that being in a relationship automatically made you a matchmaker but someone did and we’ve been listening to this anonymous voice ever since, even though it makes no sense; those of us in relationships feel as though it is our duty to introduce our single girlfriends to our single guyfriends and vice-versa. I’m not sure who started this trend — and I’m almost positive that they have since been hunted down by single girls — but it’s a thing now and we all seem to embrace it.
One of my close friends is single. After a long, and pretty atrocious, relationship she is out in the world once more looking for her person and it isn’t easy so I thought I’d set her up with a guy who fits her needs: single. Do they suit each other? A little bit. Do I have any right setting anyone up? Not really.
I met Boyfriend in line for a TIFF movie with one of my favourite friends, the one who swears he planned the whole thing for us, even though I’m certain it was a fairly natural meeting. And because we’ve been inseparable ever since, am I an authority on dating practices? Having a person who likes me that I also happen to like doesn’t make me a matchmaker. Just because one boy happens to want to see me naked on a regular basis does not mean that I’m a real life version of E-Harmony. I’m a girl who against all odds found a boy that makes me happy; but when my own relationship feels like a crazy fluke should I really have a say in who my friends date? Really?
So while I’ll likely continue to set up my girlfriends with guys that I think they might kind of get along with I should probably stop, we all should. But it’s hard to be with someone, alone. It’s hard not to want your friends to be just as happy and in love as you are, it’s hard to understand why they don’t want to meet your boyfriend’s friend’s cousin who is totally awesome and probably really cool.
The truth is until we’re married, and maybe even then, relationships are precarious and the idea of going through them alone is hard because until things are mostly for sure he’s just another guy and we need our friends to hold our hands in case it doesn’t quite work out.
Fortunately, friends are good like that and even if you don’t set them up with the white Taye Diggs or the black Channing Tatum who is totally cute and not at all like a character from a Tarantino flick they’ll be there for you. Promise.