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What it means to be an attention wh*re and what you can do about it

I don’t know about you guys, but if I see a funny moment about to ensue, my mind automatically goes to Snapchat. My hands reach for my phone and I scurry to open the app in time. The thought of catching the laugh-out-loud moment in a 10-second video to share with my friends and family brings me even more joy than the actual experience. The comments that are followed by these said friends watching my Snapchats are not only fulfilling to my duties as a social media user, but almost makes me feel like I have a purpose in life.

And that’s a little sad.

But I’ve come to accept the fact that my excessive need to share things on social media with my friends and family for validation does, in fact, make me what is known in today’s society as an attention wh*re.

It’s safe to say that the new age of social media has made most users “attention wh*res.” Whether it’s posting a picture of your face during it’s peak hours of fresh makeup and glow, or updating your status when you’ve received that promotion you were hoping for, it has evidently become a norm for people to seek confirmation for their need in society. To know that their contouring has, in fact, made a difference in someone’s life. To be told: yes, you are beautiful. You are smart. You are needed. However, the problem with this type of behaviour, is that is slowly makes its way into everyday, three-dimensional life. Soon enough, you find yourself sitting there, merely 30 minutes after you’ve sent your significant other a text, wondering why they haven’t texted back yet. It’s been thirty minutes, babe. Calm down. Take a deep breath. Watch an episode of Friends. Yeah, see Ross? Don’t be him.

I’m a writer. So, the attention-seeking nature in me was present for over a decade now. My career choice itself is a cry for attention. As Nayirrah Waheed so beautifully explains it, “If someone falls in love with my work, they’ve fallen in love with my mind.” And once you’ve taken the time to understand the true meaning behind that; I must say — it’s rather flattering. But, when I sought this attention in places they shouldn’t be sought, I began to understand a few things. I was wanting more than I was receiving — knowing full well I wouldn’t be receiving anymore. I answered to his every call and beckoned to his every need. He knew. He knew full well that even if I didn’t pick up, I would call him back. Because I wanted to. And once he knows that you want more than he wants, it’s over, ladies. Never tip your hand in the game of love. Get the f*ck out of there.

Although I somehow managed to exceed my wants, I’ve never been one to express my desires for them – to him. For one thing, I’m too shy to ask for anything. Receiving compliments make me feel awkward and telling someone about what’s bothering me is more difficult than pulling teeth. I don’t feel the need for validation in most aspects of my life- especially my fashion sense- and multiple people have labelled me as pompous. So, it’s quite surprising to think that I, too, have showcased being ‘needy.’ But, everyone’s ‘needy.’ It’s human nature. It’s why babies cry. It’s why women pout.

However, the key to being the right amount of ‘needy’ is knowing exactly what you need, and acquiring it without being well… needy. And if you can’t acquire it, even after an amount of strenuous labour that could have birthed triplets, do yourself a favour, and let it go.

Should I be jealous my husband watches porn?

Whether it’s behind your back, leaving a trail of computer history behind, or right next to you, he’s watching porn. Some women hate it; others don’t care. If your man’s porn fixations are getting under your skin, it’s time to face your feelings head on. Perhaps you’re burdened with questions buzzing in your brain, or worse, a closet full of insecurities bred from feeling upstaged by his favourite pornstar. Despite all this, you hide your jealousy because you don’t want to play porn police and rain on his boobie parade. Fortunately, you don’t have to feel this way.

Read through this question-answer guide to gain some clarity on your husband’s porn dependence.

Is it cheating?

The question of whether porn counts as cheating can be a confusing debate. The answer really depends on your personal definition of cheating. For some, cheating could be as simple as a small crush on a friend or co-worker, while for others, it’s being sexual or emotionally intimate with someone else. So, let’s say cheating can be understood as the latter, then no, watching porn is not cheating—unless he’s fallen in love with the porn star. Eek!

In simple terms, porn allows people to fantasize about spectacles that are not normally attainable in real life. Is this necessarily bad? Well, think about it this way: what’s the root cause of your jealousy? Is it the fact that his eyes and juices are shooting elsewhere or that it’s being directed at another woman? According to sex therapist Alina Palin, “most men do not necessarily watch porn for the women. Rather, the excitement comes from the super sexualized actions that the women are performing.”

Shane Panser, 31, agrees with this view. “When I watch porn, I don’t really care for what the girls look like. I just browse around for videos until I find one giving a crazy good BJ.”

Matt McMillen, a medical writer for Web MD, confirms this sentiment in his article, “Why Men Like Porn”, explaining that for most men, the reliance on porn is not grounded in a preference for another woman, but rather the rawness of the sex she’s performing. He says, “It’s not about what he’s not getting at home. It’s the novelty. It’s a turn-on.”

So, is porn cheating? All signs point to no.

What if it’s too hard core?

It’s common to worry about the type of porn your man watches and its level of intensity. Some types of porn can be pretty hard core, involving all the bells and whistles, from face-slapping degradation to frantic “juice” guzzling, topped with mascara running down the poor girl’s eyes. You get the picture. And all the while, the pornstar is loving it—so not realistic! Consider her size quadruple Z bust, big blonde hair and sky-high stilettos, a look that no regular grocery-running woman would ever wear. Clearly, it’s all just make-believe.

Many women think that their man’s favourite porn is a representation of his sexual desires for his relationship. It’s not. These videos are not real life—it’s pretend, separate from his intimacy with you. There’s also a good reason why he might keep these two realms apart. In the porn world, it can be thrilling to watch a woman get battered up by three schlongs, as distasteful as that may sound to some. However, with you, he can disconnect and compartmentalize his porn cravings, and appreciate your unique sexual dynamic on its own.

It’s not necessarily about being better or worse—it’s just something different, like enjoying a different spice. As explained in the men’s sex guide, featured by Intimate Village, men use porn to supplement and vary their sexual urges. So, while most women hope that their men’s porn appetites remain safely along the lines of low-rez lesbians and homemade videos by couples, realistically, many men enjoy much fiercer exploits.

Am I less desirable?

The true allure of porn for a man is rarely a negative reflection on his partner, says sex therapist Lonnie Barbach, PhD, in practice in San Francisco. “Some women feel threatened because they don’t think they’re as sexy as a porn star,” she says.

Yet, as previously mentioned, the seduction of porn is set in the sexual performance, not the actress’ looks. She could be gorgeous or plain—either way, he’s usually not imagining himself with her on a personal level, but rather enjoying the possibility of experiencing that pleasure.

According to sex and relationship specialist Luke Gilkerson, it’s really just part of a guy’s nature to just look at naked women in general. In turn, women should not personalize this behaviour, which is instinctive, as long as it’s kept respectively controlled within the confines of porn and not with another woman.

If you still feel that your man’s fantasies are alienating you from his sex life, you can always join in on the action. Together, you can role play or experiment, supplementing the experience with twosome toys, as R.Esco suggests in her article, “The Health Benefits of Sex.” Whichever way you fire it up, the main goal is to streamline his porn fetishes to align with your sexuality in a healthy and agreeable manner.

 

Like any habit that needs curbing, your jealousy can be easily diffused with the right attitude toward porn. Accept your husband’s porn as something natural and inevitable, but most importantly, never see it as your competition.

Thinking of moving in with your partner?

Moving in with a boyfriend is an exciting and life-changing experience. It can also highlight some of the less flattering realities of living with a stinky man-bear and his habits. Luckily, I have managed to discover a few solutions.

One of the more difficult aspects of living with someone is how you both deal with cleanliness. There is nothing worse than having a roommate (not to mention a bedmate) that is too messy. For me, the limit is the difference between being dirty and messy. If someone leaves clothes on the floor or keeps collections of odds and ends — that is acceptable. If your partner leaves garbage on the floor or lets dishes collect until there are new insect roommates moving in, that is an immediate red flag that you will end up being more of a maid than a girlfriend.  I’m blessed to have a messy boyfriend and not one that is dirty. If you have a partner who is inherently disgusting, training can help the situation, but it may take more work than it’s worth ladies.

I’ve always lived in my girly zen zone. It smelled nice, there were decorations, and everything had a place. Now, I have smelly socks hanging from my jewellery stand and I can’t seem to ever locate my brush (I should mention my boyfriend has long locks). The lady cave I built has been infiltrated by a man, who is half bear when he wakes up in the morning.

Though this would leave many women running for the hills, I can honestly say I’ve never been happier. My perfectly clean apartment was lovely no doubt, but there is nothing better than coming home and being met with a smiling man you love, especially one that has a couple glasses of wine and dinner on the table. Love is messy girls. It is stinky and it is unorganized.  Love has required me to give up any pretences of perfection I’ve carried with me for years. But perfection be damned. It isn’t worth it to have a show home and give up actually learning how to compromise space and love someone for who they are and how they live.

Compromise is key. It is important that both parties feel they have a stake in what an apartment looks like. An example is moving over my vintage Patti Smith artwork to make room for a Toronto Maple Leafs poster beside it. It looks better with both anyways. My boyfriend also knows how insane I get over clothes on the floor. It is a pet peeve. So, to meet in the middle, we have a corner that is solely his. He can dump his clothes, and anything else he wants, in this area and I can’t bother him about it. I’ve come to accept this messy area and by keeping it contained, we are both happy.

Open communication is a must. Talking about expectations, financial plans, and emotional needs BEFORE moving in is essential.. To make things simple and functional, try making a schedule of tasks that need to be done around the house. For example, my boyfriend and I pick a day to clean, and contribute equally by splitting cleaning, dishes, and cooking right down the middle to avoid any resentments.

Be prepared to learn the oddest things about your partner. For example, my boyfriend collects receipts. Not just a few, but ALL of them. Apparently, he has this epic plan to file them all (this will never happen). I find them everywhere and quietly dispose of them when he isn’t looking. It is a quirky, albeit adorable, habit that I’ve learned to accept. On my end, apparently I can’t brush my teeth without looking like I just dunked my face into a bowl of ice cream. It is juvenile and gross, but my man laughs about it when we brush our teeth in the morning.

The bottom line is quite simple — Learn to love the mess. Moving in together is a hectic and exciting process of getting to know all the habits and quirks of your loved one. Previously, I had this idea that if you lived together, all the mystery of that person disappears. I thought this would be a bad thing. Instead, the fact that two individuals with different habits and histories can come together and grow as one is truly mysterious and magical. We only have one tender moment to love after all and then we are gone. So take the leap and make room on the bookshelf. I wish you the best in your pursuit of the madness of the mess. It is one of the best adventures to embark on.

How to date more successfully

It’s no secret that most of today’s dating happens in virtual space. One swipe here, one click there, and presto! You’re matched! The problem, however, is that there is a reverse mentality associated with this world. Many women are using these dating apps with the hopes of impressing a man enough to win his approval. She may be wondering things like, “Is my pic good?”, “Did I write too much in my profile?”, “Should I say hi first?” Notice how all these anxieties are based on the idea that the man is the decider, while the woman seeks validation. How often do you try to earn his thumbs-up? This reverse mentality is important because it allows you to recognize your own power and start approaching dating with more confidence.    

Know your Worth

Knowing your worth is an important part of dating the smart way. If you truly believe in your value, he’ll be more likely to invest in your stock. He’ll be seeking your approval instead of the other way around.

How can I do this, you ask? Simple: you just need to know your worth. For example, a guy from an online dating app makes a teasing remark about how you should take him out for dinner. Many men think this is flirtatious and endearing— so instead of playing along, you should assertively say something like, “But we haven’t yet established if you’re even the right one to make me leave this dumb app.” With this approach, you’re creating the understanding that you’re also someone who deserved to be pursued.

Date Around

In the words of Billie Holiday, “A kiss that is never tasted is forever and ever wasted.” In spirit of this mantra, you should treat dating as a sampling buffet. This is not to say that you should gobble down every dessert at the table. Rather, you should select a few delights that interest you, and take the time to learn about the individual flavours you enjoy the most. When you discover a type that you genuinely like, you can then invest your time into nurturing that match.

The bottom line is that you need to see the dating process as your chance to discover your needs and wants, and focus less on becoming what your partner wants. The more you learn about your personal dating goals and desires, the more confident you’ll become later on when choosing the right guy.

Stop Dating Jerks                          

Most women who date jerks secretly hope that they’ll be the one who changes him. The problem with this mentality is that you’re wasting all your valuable time and effort trying to improve someone who’s not fit to date you in the first place. If he needs that much changing, why are you so attracted and invested in him? If he’s not making you feel like the most special woman in the world, why bother? Find someone else who doesn’t need changing because he’s already a great guy.

 Reconsider your Dating Apps

 Finally, you may also want to reconsider the dating apps you’re using. Apps like Tinder and POF are usually just a virtual sex platter. There’s other apps like Match and WhoWinkedMe, which are better suited for quality singles looking for the real deal.

 

Ultimately, if you want to enjoy better dating experiences, you need to start improving yourself first. Make good choices about who you date and, most importantly, how you treat yourself.

How to want him without needing him

When to walk away, is wisdom. Being able to, is courage. Walking away with your head held high is dignity.”

There it is; Wisdom. Courage. Dignity. More often than not, we confuse the three. And every once in a while, you’ll find yourself immersed in someone else’s idea of these values. All of a sudden, they come into your life with such ease, becoming so important to you within such a small amount of time, you begin to question why there was any confusion in the first place. It’s what makes life worth living- and sometimes so challenging.

But while its worth living, this someone is like a plate of deep fried chicken wings- both mouth watering and unhealthy. You enjoy the moments you spend together, not realizing the consequences. At first sight, he’s a real looker, one with a smile that can make you palpitate. Except unlike the plate of fried chicken, he can’t be packed away for later. And the damage he will do to your heart cannot be fixed with healthy diet or exercise.

***

After coming out of a serious but rather mundane and loveless relationship, I had sworn off any emotional attachments for the time being. I began to approach men with a casual attitude, shutting them down when they began questioning ”our future”.

He was no different on this list — until I realized that I couldn’t shut him down. Although we’ve never met in person, mutual connections brought us together and we took it from there on social media. Through frequent texting and flirtatious exchanges, it was apparent that our common interests, combined with his suave demeanour and my distinctive personality had us both intrigued.

The late night phone calls began – and after a lot of persistence on his part and a lot of reluctance on mine — mostly due to his mysterious ability to always say the right thing at the right time — I soon found myself in an emotional relationship. Our feelings were addressed, dreams were discussed, and our goals and ambitions for the future were encouraged. I would play along, knowing fully well there was a slim chance of it becoming a reality. It was just all too good to be true.

But he made me happy.

His passion towards his unconventional career choice made him sexy and different from the men I’ve previously been involved with. He didn’t just slip into his profession. He chose it. And although it was difficult to picture myself actively adapting to his unpredictable lifestyle, I could never let his priorities change because of me. I wouldn’t.

However, being so different, yet so incredibly similar left us with a compatibility and chemistry that I had always craved for. And although we had our share of turbulence along the way, I genuinely cared about him. His straightforward personality and way with words left no room for speculation. He loved me. And I loved him.

But hearing him whisper “I’m not the right guy for you” every other night made me wonder what I was getting myself into. In the midst of our twisted games and ability to toy with each other’s emotions, I grew accustomed to his doubtful pursuits. It was soon after that I realized I needed more certainty in my life- certainty that wouldn’t come from him.

I’ve attempted to take the high road and walk away. Be a ‘wise’ person. And because I even considered it, I guess, made me ‘courageous’. But its walking away with ‘dignity’ that I’m still working on.

Too often, we choose the idea of settling in fear of never meeting someone like him again. We break under the pressure that the man we’re destined to be with won’t be in the form of the handsome, charming, and alluring man that we first fell in love with. The intensity of our relationship was one that was reminiscent of the sappy films we watch on rainy days. And no matter how many obstacles come in front of the love struck couple in these films, you sit and hope that they’ll somehow end up together in the end.

But most of the time, they don’t.

It’s not going to be easy coming to terms with the absence of him in my life. And even more difficult once we meet in person. The memories of his arm around my waist, the smell of his cologne, or the way he looks at me will probably linger in my mind for years to come. But it’s a step I’m willing to take to remind myself of my individual strength and my ability to see him as a desire and not a necessity.

Because he’s something I’m going to have to learn to live without.

How do you handle difficult relationships? Let us know in the comments below! 

How to be the best maid of honour you can be

Most women dream about being a bride and getting married, but I’ve always hoped to be asked to be a maid of honour. It is flattering to know that one of your girlfriends adores you so much they would be willing to have you stand by their side during one of the most memorable moments of their lives.

My dream came true when a long-time friend asked me through a hilarious Ryan Gosling meme:

ryan gosling

I responded by calling her on the phone, crying tears of happiness.  Now that the initial buzz has worn off, I’m ready to do the best job possible for my bride.

Being a great maid of honour takes work. You have to be attentive and available for a variety of tasks and traditions that are important and memorable. The first and foremost job of a maid of honour is to be there for moral support. Frankly, many men are not interested in planning their weddings and even though I am classified as a tomboy oftentimes, I love looking through beautiful dresses. When the day approaches, being available for those stressful moments and last minute cancellations is essential and can make all the difference between a great maid of honour and a flop.

Attending appointments with the bride is important. Between trying on gowns and helping pick out flowers, if your bride wants you there, it is essential to prioritize your schedule. Each bride will have her own idea of which appointments she needs you to attend. Because this is the bride’s choice, it is important to set out expectations. Asking and communicating will help avoid disappointments or overdoing it. Helping with do-it-yourself projects for the wedding is a fun way to spend time with her and help out at the same time for the big day.

Certain brides will pick the maid of honour dress and others will let you decide. I’ve been asked to choose my own and I find it vital to make sure it is within the colour scope my friend loves and reflects her style. Compromising between a dress that fits your body well but still coordinates with the colour of the wedding is important.  But never forget, what the bride wants, the bride gets. It isn’t your wedding.

The bachelorette party and bridal shower are the main responsibilities for a maid of honour. Some family members will want to plan the bridal shower, so it is important to decide with the bride what events you will be planning. The bachelorette party is definitely a tradition for the maid of honour to organize. Some brides want an exciting and loud party in another city and others prefer a quieter event at a low-key bar. Getting pointers from the bride to plan an event that suits her will ensure a good time. Also, avoid the cheesy games. They are irritating and no one wants to hear the forced laughter these games incite.

On the big day, make sure to be fully available to the bride for any last minute errands that need to be done. Being well prepared in advance will help. The maid of honour is the go-to person on the wedding day so the bride can enjoy her wedding without being bothered with the little things. Be an impromptu wedding planner if needed.

Everyone talks about the best man’s speech, but the maid of honour’s speech is just as important. It is a must-have at the wedding reception. Prepare in advance, because you don’t want to get tongue-tied in the moment. Speak from the heart and speak about the positives of both the bride and groom in a personalized manner. I would avoid making fun of the married pair unless it is very endearing- but you know the couple best.

Being a maid of honour is an unforgettable experience and the ultimate test of your friendship bond. Doing a good job will ensure your bride has a memorable wedding day and she will be so grateful if you can be supportive and helpful. This is an important milestone in a great friendship and will make memories for years to come. Also, don’t forget the most important part: have fun!

Have you been a maid of honour? Share your tips in the comments below.

How to be single: A Valentine’s Day Guide

So you’re single, huh? Another year, another day of love spent alone. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. There are plenty of things to do on Valentine’s Day, whether you’re with someone or not. We’ve created a list of super easy things you can do to feel the love, even if no one else will feel it with you.

Invest in a body pillow

Without the warmth of a significant other’s body cuddling yours, the night can get rather cold and lonely. You don’t need someone else’s hands to keep yours warm. Invest in a body pillow – they can be found at your local departmental store. The pillow is large enough to let you cuddle it in its entirety, leaving you no chance to miss real love. Your laptop can be used to stream a movie starring your favourite actor. We suggest someone in the likes of Ryan Gosling; a man that will surely never fail to make you warm inside.

Netflix and Chill

If you’re down with the lingo, you know by now that Netflix and Chill means to engage in the act of coitus. As in to have sex. However, with the lack of a person to do the deed with, you may find yourself in a little problem. So, take power and change the meaning of North America’s favourite phrase. You don’t necessarily have to have sex to Netflix and Chill. Grab a bunch of your other single friends and indulge in the beauty that is Magic Mike. Want a good laugh? 50 Shades of Grey is always a good choice! (Sorry, not sorry) Keep it light and avoid usual single go-to’s such as The Notebook. Don’t forget your calories – popcorn and chocolate are a must.

 

Wait till Monday

The day after Valentine’s might as well be the best day of the year. All those fancy boxed chocolates and love themed items go on sale for at least half the price.  The best part of purchasing these yummy goodness is that you don’t even have to share! Better yet? Fill your home with the wilting flowers from your local grocery store. There’s just something extra heartbreaking about dying flowers, right? Dry them out by leaving them in the dark or hanging them upside down. The DIY potpourri will have your house looking colourful and smelling great.

Date Yourself

Love yourself first! Make sure your comfortable getting lost in your old world and being left alone in your thoughts before you get lost in someone else’s. Take the time to get to know yourself. Do what you love to do most without having to worry about pleasing anyone else. Whether that’s indulging in your favourite movie, attempting to perfect your adult colouring book masterpiece, or throwing a dance party – the act of masturdating will never leave you disappointed.

Get cats

Cats may not be able to cook you dinner or get you that bracelet you’ve had your eye on, but they can give you the cuddles and love you’ve been looking for. Studies show that furry friends can alleviate stress and turn your ice cold heart into a warm glob.  Not a cat person? Choose from the plethora of other pets that you can domesticate! Dogs, birds, rabbits, a turtle are all excellent options. Pet it, feed it, and watch it sleep. These loved one will never leave the toilet seat up. And to that we say, thank you.

Don’t Be Sorry

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Being single isn’t the end of the world. In fact, think of all that stress you don’t have to feel by not worrying why he/she hasn’t called you back yet, whether or not they’ll like your gifts, how you’ll pretend to like theirs. Even if you’re ready to be in a relationship or if you haven’t got the time for it in your life right now, what’s important to remember is that your Mr. and Ms. Right will show up at your door step when the time is right – whenever that may be. Till then, keep doing you. Because you are great, my friend.

Let us know if you try anything from our suggestions this weekend. Don’t forget to leave a comment below. Happy Valentine’s Day, ladies!

Love,

Women’s Post

Heart thawing Valentine’s Day ideas

It seems winter has finally arrived. With a cold weather advisory in effect for Toronto today and temperatures expected to stay well below the freezing mark all through the long weekend, maybe it’s best to spend the next few days with your loved ones – indoors. However, with Valentine’s Day to look forward to, the last thing you want is to lounge around the house looking for something to do. Fret not! We have got you covered with these fun ideas on how you can keep things hot and fun at the same time.

  1. Netflix and Chill

Nothing wrong with keeping things simple one year. Throw on a movie and relax. If you’re down with the lingo, you’ll know to wear your extra special pajamas with an added surprise underneath. Because Valentine’s Day is a day of love, be sure to pick a movie you’re not exactly too interested in seeing. That way you won’t be missing out on anything on the screen – just focus on what’s happening on your couch.

  1. Host Games Night

Valentine’s Day isn’t just about your significant other. Your family and friends should be celebrated as well. Get everyone involved and host a night of fun. Have couple themed games available (remember to keep your single friends and families in mind too!) Serve hot chocolate and munchies to keep yourselves warm. Sometimes, the most fun is had when in groups.

Image result for candle light romantic tumblr

  1. Ignite the flames

Home? Put on some romantic music, light some candles, and get dressed! You don’t need a fancy restaurant to celebrate Valentine’s Day in style. Your kitchen can have the same effect. Cook up a nice meal – or get your significant other to cook it (because feminism). There’s something rather comforting about not having to awkwardly reply to your waiter while there’s food in your mouth. Plus there is the added luxury of not having parents at the table next to you who decided today is the day to teach their toddler what table manners. It’s all about you and your pasta tonight. Oh, and the person sitting across from you.

  1. Have you ever?

Whether you’ve been together for a month or for 30 years, there’s always something about your significant other that slips through the cracks during your time together. Think about it: how well do you really know each other?  It can be simple things such as their favourite colour, or something a little deeper – like the real reason behind their fear of dogs. Spend your day playing fun couple games, ask each other questions, and really open up to one another. (Warning: New couples should avoid questions on commitment, children, and future goals as it may cause a rather awkward situation that your developing relationship is just not ready for.)

  1. Embrace The Cold!

Don’t let the cold weather stop you from doing your thing. Put on an extra layer and head out! Whether you want to embrace the busy restaurants or go out to see a movie in a theatre instead of your couch, just remember it’s never really that cold! Why not do something out of the box and try an activity that’ll be sure to keep you warm. Attend a dance class or engage in a winter sport; skating, perhaps? There’s nothing more romantic than attempting to walk on ice and – somewhat – gracefully fall in your significant other’s arms. Don’t fret over the temperatures – as long as your heart is warm.

Got any other ideas? Share them with us! Don’t forget to tell us how your weekend went in the comments below. Happy Valentine’s Day!

 

10 Bizarre Dating Sites

There has always have been this underlying stigma towards singles about being lonely, sad, and undesirable. So its no wonder as to why no one wants to be alone for more than socially acceptable  an hour. Website developers are taking this weakness to their advantage by creating dating services to fit people’s needs and wants. They may seem a little strange to you and me but reviews show that people have actually found their soulmates through these bizarre and rather questionable apps:

1. https://www.50shadesofgreydating.com/ 

You’ve seen the movie. But have you lived the movie? Now you can, in 50 Shades of Grey. This flashy website is designed for those you want to indulge in their BDSM fantasies. Just don’t except a helicopter ride or a fancy car. “Come and find your perfect Anastasia or Mr Grey.”

2. http://www.feetfetishdating.com/

“Let’s face it, sometimes it can be challenging to find women and men who are open-minded or accepting enough to want to stay with you once they’ve learned about your foot fetish.  Meet someone who ‘gets’ your fetish, or maybe even shares it!”

3. http://www.ghostsingles.com/

Women’s Post tested out this site because it was so ‘out of this world’. “A dating site for singles who know how to get a life! Well, an afterlife. Okay, maybe some sort of in-between, nether-world, ethereal existence. But if you’re looking for love, and you’re dead, Ghost Singles is the site for you.” Turns out, its just a website with comical profiles on dead-studs. Hey, whatever floats your boat, right?

4. http://www.glutenfreesingles.com/

Featured on Ellen, “GlutenfreeSingles is a website committed to building a national and global community for those who are gluten free. Living a gluten-free life can be challenging, especially in a world where gluten-soaked foods are just about everywhere. At GlutenfreeSingles, you are not alone!”

5. http://www.farmersonly.com/

With a tagline like “City folks just don’t get it”, its easy to see how one would instantly be attracted to this farmers only dating website. Forget tall buildings, if you like large acres of corn and men who harvest said large acres of corn, this website is for you. Nothing screams dating than plaid shirts and straw hats.

6.  http://www.clowndating.com/

“It’s no fun looking for love when you’re a clown, behind all the make-up and the red nose is a lonely heart. Clown Dating offers a community for single entertainers to chat, have fun and arrange dates. Being on the road all the time can make it hard to find someone close by, but with members from towns and cities all over the world hooking up has never been easier. You don’t have to be called Coco, or Cathy to join!” Lonely red-noses unite!

7. https://www.seekingarrangement.com/

Sugar daddys. They’re rich, they have significant life experience, and they’re only interested in your looks. What more reason do you need to find one? As advertised, “Unpaid bills no longer have to be a concern. Indulge in shopping sprees, expensive dinners, and exotic travels.” Sold!

8. http://www.polyamorouspassions.com/

“If you comfortable with open relationships, or you are interested in forming relationships with multiple partners simultaneously, then Polyamorous may describe you. Polyamory reflects a fluid attitude towards interpersonal relationships and bonding, based on the individual(s) involved, and what they feel comfortable with.” Side flings have never less stressful.

9. http://www.marrydoctor.com/

“The medical profession is certainly one of the noblest around. It’s little wonder that single doctors are considered quite the catch as they not only help the sick and injured, but are highly respected in the community, are highly educated, have a compassionate nature and many of them earn a considerable amount of money as well.” Finally, a dating site that truly understands women’s needs.

10. http://www.datingformuggles.com/ 

“Meet like-minded fans in your city, and find friends, romance & much more today! No Felix Felicis or love spells required! Join the muggle dating community!” Muggles meeting muggles. How magical!

There you have it! If a dating app you use has made the list, please do not take offense. Rather, comment below and tell us how your experience was! Remember, it’s okay to be single once in a while. Finding love is a natural, unexpected situation that just happens when its supposed to. However, if you want to have some fun along the way- we don’t blame you! 😉

5 things you shouldn’t do on a first date

In today’s cut-throat and unforgiving dating world, searching for romance is like scouring through a jungle of animals in search of “the one.” While this process can be tricky, awkward and sometimes downright frustrating, it’s important not to lose faith. Of course, women are not usually to blame, us being fabulous and all. We know full well that the world is plagued with tragic male singles, ready to perturb us with dull conversation, sloppy first kisses, and attempts at one-night-stands.

However, not all men necessarily commit these habits. And while it can be amusing to savagely gab to our friends and rant about our recently blacklisted bachelor, we should take a moment to realize that we are not always the victims of failed dates. In fact, many of us spend so much time sizing up our gentleman callers, but we rarely ever consider how our own habits might be affecting our dating experiences.

So, perhaps we could all benefit from a tad bit of humility by considering the male perspective as we reign comfortably on our royal thrones. This being said, let’s take a look at five things you shouldn’t do on a first date:

1. Do not ask about the future … yet

© Duane Osborn/Somos Images/Corbis

On the first date, it’s not appropriate to raise future-related questions unless he does. This is a double standard we all loathe but must regrettably obey. This means avoiding certain questions: Do you see marriage in your future? How many kids do you want? These are issues that will surely be addressed as you move through the dating process. Until that point, a man doesn’t want you envisioning his future before he’s even had a chance to get to know you. It’ll make him feel trapped and definitely turned off.

2. Do not dress like a high-class call girl

Many women enjoy dressing provocatively for their dates. Although it’s natural to want to look impressive and sexy, women should focus on flaunting their personality whether than their skin. As a general rule, if you’re going to show off your legs, hide your cleavage. And if you’re planning on covering up your lower half, then feel free to show a little more décolleté (without giving him an overly generous glimpse!).

3. Do not ask about his assets

While you may have your quality checklist, you must put this aside for the first date. Many men find it incredibly invasive when a woman asks incessantly about their assets, especially so early in the dating process. You do not want to appear over ambitious or shallow. This means you should focus on getting to know your date on a personal level and learn about his quality not his quantity.

4. Do not get drunk

© Hero Images/Corbis
Nobody likes a waste-case.

When trying to control your first date jitters, it’s easy to drink a little more than usual. But while a couple Cosmos can be helpful, make sure not to overdose on this nerve-easing delight. Otherwise, you may become too comfortable and possibly lose your sense of etiquette. You may start blabbering excitedly or even let your hormones do the talking. For this reason, it’s best to let your sober and wonderful self shine through on the first date.

5. Do not sleep with him

If you have a more laissez-faire attitude toward dating, you may have pulled a one-nighter or two. Sometimes when a great date becomes heated with good conversation and a few too many martinis, it’s tempting to lose yourself in a steamy moment. You may have even been guilty of convincing yourself that you’ve found your “soul-mate” and believe it’s a free pass to rush into the sack. No. Stop. What you might mistake for your long-sought-love is really just alcohol and hormones. In reality, rushing to sex rarely leads to a long-lasting relationship. Moreover, building a real intimate connection requires a couple to establish communication, respect, and trust over an extended period of time. A hot night in bed does not establish this connection — no matter how great the sex.

By avoiding these crimes of romance, you may save yourself from plunging into dating hell. Ultimately, it’s important to understand that great dates are a two-way street. While we can expect to be charmed and courted, we also have a responsibility to avoid poor dating habits. Unfortunately, these rules will obviously not protect you from meeting awful men, but at least you can take comfort in knowing the failure was on him, and not on you.

Good luck!

All images courtesy of Corbis