Once a month, women experience what is known as a menstrual cycle. But I’m sure you already know that.

Despite your knowledge on the subject, I’ve recently been told by society and new-age feminists that we need to start talking about our periods. So let’s talk, shall we?

Periods suck. It’s bad enough women have to bleed out of their vaginas for a week. But in addition to the World War III that’s going on in between our legs, we are also required to act tolerant towards the cashier at McDonalds, who give us judgmental looks when we order a cheeseburger with extra cheese and a side of large fries with some more cheese and a diet soda (because balance).

Whether you learned about periods during those awkward sex-ed classes in elementary school or you share a bathroom with your girlfriend, roommate, sister, or wife — periods are something we, women and men, know exists. Unlike ”period activists” however, no one really likes to discuss periods. Despite period shaming becoming a thing nowadays, there’s some of us – feminists included – who have no problem concealing what comes out of their vaginas. And that’s okay! Please, let me explain why:

In a way, not announcing the arrival of ”Aunty Flo” in a chain email or 140-character sentence  is common courtesy. She’s like the aunt who always seems to cause problems at social gatherings but has to come to Christmas dinner every year only because ‘she’s family’. No one ever says anything about this Aunt, but we’re all thinking the same thing: Ugh.

Yes, periods are a problem. And so are many other things in ones life. However, just like having to listen to your friend complain about their relationship problems during their 30th breakup, talking about your period is rather tiresome, if not unnecessary. Women are all united by the same messes, cramps, and cravings from all around the world. Can’t we just embrace this sweet, depressing fact and move on with our lives?

I’m not saying to be ashamed of your periods. The way we were taught to take our pads and tampons in the bathroom would put James Bond to shame. And that’s not right. What I am suggesting is to act natural about it. The same way we act when we excuse ourselves to go pee and poo. You may not have any problem announcing to your roommate that you have to ”take a really big sh*t” after your date at Chipotle, but you would definitely not behave or use the same language in front of your colleague.

Because they do not need to know. When you excuse yourself to go the bathroom, you’ve already sent a clear message: we’re finally free to check our phones without being rude.

Be practical! Don’t stray away from white pants because it would be ”anti-feminist”, do it because washing white pants with a red stain on it, is a war on its own. My laundry skills are below average to begin with. The added pressure of using bleach on something in addition to putting it into the pile of ”like colours” is just too much pressure. I’ll just stick to my black pants. Some people call them tights. I hear they’re comfy.

Essentially, there’s no need to raise awareness about a subject that everyone is already aware of. Menstruating is a bodily function. But so is urinating, bowel movements, and ejaculations. Despite these words being ”natural” and ”perfectly normal” they still never fail to make us feel slightly uncomfortable. It’s much like the feeling you get when your doctor asks you to explain your bowel movements. You’d rather not.

Thus, although everyone has already jumped on the ”period shaming” bandwagon behind a certain marathon runner, I am here to tell you that there is no such thing as period shaming. Women need to stop focusing on problems that do not exist and focus on problems that do exist. You’ll save yourself a lot of pants by not bleeding freely. Instead of complaining on why your blood makes people uncomfortable, why not complain about why there aren’t enough female representatives in politics? And then do something about it.

Combating period shaming is not advancing the feminist movement. Men don’t even get their periods. How are you going to strive for equality in the biology department when there’s nothing to strive for?

You can’t.

So I suggest putting away the blood, stocking up on that chocolate, and waiting for menopause. Because these cycles are here to stay.

What you can do is deal with more important issues, such as allowing women to buy tampons without the tampon tax. Oh… that’s a problem we’ve already solved. #progress

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