Love can be so fleeting. A stranger’s split second of eye contact can mean more than years of a relationship. Our hearts are great untamed beasts that know no bounds and can pine for someone that we never even knew. The poetry of our emotions is a never ending tale.

What better way to find the love of your life than by posting an ad in the same place you’d buy a used futon?

Get ready for January’s worst Missed Connections. If you haven’t already lost your faith in humanity and stoped believing in love keep reading for Toronto’s absolute All-Star worst Missed Connections of 2013!
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1. It is really hard to focus on household nude photography to the music of The Offspring with your wallet missing.

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2. But not nearly as cute as that ass.

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3. “I don’t even want to ask you out, I was just wondering if your butt has ever considered a career as a hypnotist.”

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4. Wait, I don’t think we are talking about groceries anymore.

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5. If someone fetishizing your disability interrupted you in the middle of a phone call you’d probably give him the finger, this guy just didn’t have that option.

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Toronto’s Worst Missed Connections: 2013 All-Stars

1. Single folks take note, this is a textbook example of how to treat people you want to have sex with. Just kidding, only if you are Chris Brown.

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2. Who says sexual assault isn’t romantic? Oh that’s right, everyone.

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3. Step 1: Find woman.
Step 2: Say some awful things.
Step 3: ????
Step 4: Sex. (Duh!)



4. “Please treat me like garbage, but don’t actually treat me like garbage.”
Is there any way to forward Craigslist posting directly to WebMD for signs of undiagnosed mental illness?



5. Let’s get together and hate babies.



6. The least interesting this about this post is that both guys were named Rob.



7. It really saves time to write one Missed Connections post instead of two.



8. Nothing is more attractive than tears and the topic of domestic violence. Drinks?



9. Beard on beard poetry.



10. Drumroll please. The worst Missed Connection in Toronto for the year of 2013 is none other than TTC Stabbing Guy.




Follow Travis on Twitter at @TravMyers.


1 Comment

  1. Travis Myers Reply

    As always, there is a slew out out-takes that are too filthy to post here I’ll be tweeting in time.

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