I try to write articles about strange things for Women’s Post because I think they’re just so bizarre that they need to have my acerbic comments. And I hope you enjoy reading about the wacky things that happen in someone else’s daily life.
Recently, I came across a topic that I knew would make a great article for Women’s Post: Underpants that vibrate. In fact, these undies are called Passion Pants. You put these on, flip the switch and go about your daily tasks, all the while being on a slow boat to China.
I don’t know about you, but I’d be challenged to keep my daily routine with such a distraction. What if the pastor from my church dropped in for tea? What if I had to go to a meeting with my kid’s teacher? What if I was invited to dinner with my mother-in-law or, even worse, my own mother?
It seems likely that while all of those tasks and more would be easily within my scope on most days, they probably would be way too much of a challenge on Passion Pants day.
Women, especially mothers, are really good at multi-tasking. Women can talk on the phone and listen to the noise the little one is making in her bedroom and know that when the noise stops, there’s trouble. Women cook dinner, set the table and wash the lunch dishes all at the same time.
But I’m afraid that passion pants might raise the bar on multi-tasking to such a high degree that women will be unable to focus on anything but their knickers.
So, on to the article that spurred this topic. According to the British tabloid, The Sun, a woman wore her passion pants while she went grocery shopping. I’m thinking she may not have thought this whole thing through before she got in her car.
This may not surprise you: the woman collapsed in her supermarket when her vibrating pants made her faint with pleasure. When she fell, she hit her head and the supermarket called the paramedics. When they began to help her, her pants were still vibrating. Her secret was out. The paramedics took her pants off and took her to the local hospital. There was no mention of the expression on the paramedics’ faces.
There was also no information in the article about the reception she received at the hospital. I have to wonder if this was sufficient to put her at the head of the line in the emergency department. I’m pretty sure that it was sufficient to be the buzz of the whole hospital. I just hope she remained unconscious while all the giggling was going on.
I can only imagine the long pause in her kitchen that evening when her husband came home from work and asked how her day was.
The final short chapter in this highly amusing story is a testament to British humour…A spokesman for the ASDA Supermarket said, “We like to think shopping with us is exciting enough already.”